Femi-what?

I am a feminist, but… Sometimes I use the fact that I am a woman to my advantage.

 

I am a feminist, but… I secretly believe all men should have at least a basic knowledge of DIY.

 

I am a feminist, but… I like that he is the breadwinner.

 

I’m a feminist, but… although I will offer to go halves on a first date, I will judge anybody who agrees.

 

fem

 

I believe in the above, I believe that men and women deserve equality. But I also believe we are different animals and so achieving equality in all aspects of our lives is impossible, and quite frankly, stupid.

 

dog-n-chimp

 

Mother always taught me that keeping a man happy was easy –  feed him,  make him feel needed and er… the other thing. Mother has also never managed to hold down much of a long term relationship so I’m taking her advice with a pinch of salt, but ultimately, I think she is on to something.

A lot of men, not all, but a lot of men like to feel needed. Whether that is to open a jar, put up a shelf, or protect you in a dangerous situation, being that person allows them to feel as though they are doing their job correctly. And biologically this makes sense, they are bigger, they are taller and broader and more muscular – men are, or have the potential to be, stronger than women – FACT.

So, yes, I do judge a man that doesn’t offer to walk a woman home after dark. Is that wrong?

It is the female aspect of things where I start to come undone. Boyfriend calls me a ‘Champagne Feminist’…

If I believe men are our natural ‘protectors’ and ‘providers’ does that mean we cannot do these things for ourselves? No way, bro. Do I believe that women are these submissive creatures that must be wrapped in cotton wall? Hell no. So, if I have placed men into a nice, neat little box, why does doing the same for women somehow not sit well with me?

A guy at work doesn’t like seeing a woman drinking a pint and we call him ridiculous. But realistically, if I saw a man drinking a Cosmo, would I approach him? Err… No. cockt

I am creating a thousand double standards in my head to the point where I am questioning what I actually believe. From my experience, this is what I know:

Men are strong, they are hilarious, irrational, loving and emotional. Men cry, they fight and are outright disgusting at times.

And women? Women are the same… So maybe we aren’t so different after all?

 

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6 thoughts on “Femi-what?

  1. anneboleyn23 says:

    I think this is excellent, I am in some instances a feminist – like when it comes to work and sharing the housework. I’m no slave, but yes, I judge a man if he hasn’t worked hard enough to get a great job.. and especially if he doesn’t walk me home in the dark. why? Because physically i’m weaker. Maybe the rules of feminism should be allowed to change to suit the individual woman – like if your butch as fuck, maybe you wont mind him letting you walk home.

  2. JustAGirlAndABike says:

    Wow – I love this post 🙂 This is very, very, very true and important perspective. I think that all of us women who try to be equal think these same thoughts that you have pointed out. Perhaps we need to look at our definition of feminism and make it more of a ‘partnership with all people’ 🙂

  3. Natalie says:

    I think a lot of people struggle with some of these things — props to you for being willing to talk about them so openly! 🙂 For me, I’ve found that thinking of people as just that — people — makes the most sense. Instead of thinking of people in gendered terms, I think of them in terms of personality. I know some very masculine women and very feminine guys; in that case, if I understand them through their own personality, I think we can connect better than if I tried to understand them via gender (if that all makes sense).

    Love how you ended this post. Rock on!

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