For the past year and a half I have been cohabiting and observing the day to day idiosyncrasies of my beloved boyfriend. There are many, many things he does well, but these are not some of them…
#1, Apply lip balm.
No further explanation required.
#2, Take their shoes off whilst intoxicated.
Watching Boyfriend drunk de-robe is like watching a top heavy Bambi on ice.
#3, Do anything else whilst texting.
Anything. Anything at all.
#4, Tie your hair back.
Should you break your arm and require Boyfriend’s assistance in this department -think again.
#5, Rate other men based entirely on hotness.
Are you seriously going to pretend you don’t notice Jeremy’s rippling abs?!
#6, Understand basic emotional intelligence.
Me: “Just leave me alone!”
Also Me: “Wait… Where are you going?”
#7, Go to the toilet without their phone.
Heaven forbid you simply get in and get out.
Attempting to explain an awkward social dynamic to Boyfriend in a room full of people is a mistake I will only make once.
#9, Navigate the TV guide.
We will inevitably end up watching a Family Guy re-run or the last twenty minutes of Anchor Man.
See exact screenshot of Boyfriend’s Pinterest profile below:
(NB: I am that 1 follower)