I’m not a natural girlfriend.
I am selfish, I like to do what I do, say what I say and watch what I want, without explanation or censorship.
Sometimes I like to go to bed at 9pm, eat half a pound of chocolate raisins and watch 10,000 calorie challenges on YouTube.
Sometimes I am tired and I don’t shower.
Sometimes I get home from work and I don’t want to talk for 2-3 hours.
Sometimes if Boyfriend doesn’t give me a kiss and a cuddle when he gets home, a tiny piece of my heart breaks inside.
Other times the slightest touch makes me draw back into myself.
I can be insensitive to other peoples thoughts when they aren’t the same as mine. I don’t always appreciate other peoples feelings, I see almost everything as a weakness.
Being in a relationship is bloody hard.
Sometimes, when all I want to do is watch A Cinderella Story with a whole bottle of red wine and a box of olives, I have to compromise. I have to share my wine and watch Top Boy while providing head scratches.
I have had to learn to express my feelings like a warning – if I were a dog I would be muzzled.
And I have had to learn to be a
bit lot nicer.
Not everybody is the same as me, they aren’t in my head, they can’t read my mind, I need to be more open and stop approaching everything with the mindset that it is me against the world.
Because it isn’t, and that is the whole point.
Being with someone means being a total dick sometimes and having to apologise for it, even when you’re not totally confident you’re in the wrong.
It means being fetched a hot water bottle and The Sunday Times when your back is sore.
It means Boyfriend asking concerned questions about your period and pretending not to be completely grossed out by it.
It means asking him to put the radio on when you live in a tiny flat and desperately need the loo.
It means offloading your shit days onto each other and then knowing your evening can only get better now.
It means somebody having your back, always.
And that is definitely worth giving up Hilary Duff for.